My
professor gave me some really bad advice on effective leadership: “You’ve got
to keep your distance from the people you lead”, I was told. “A leader must maintain mystique and avoid
dual relationships”. I wasn’t interested
in being a psychologist. I was just
interested in being a youth pastor. I
felt uncomfortable with this “expert advice”.
We all want to be more effective as
leaders. Those who are serious about
becoming more effective leaders are eager to learn. In an attempt to answer this need, “Leadership
theory” has given us a mountain of resources comprised of organizational
charts, strategic formulas, and techniques designed to help us become more
powerful as we work our way to the top. Once
at the top, many leaders feel disillusionment.
It can be very lonely up there.
We also
all would love to have deeper friendships with others. Success and friendship
are two of life’s greatest sources of joy.
Quality of life and happiness has more to do with the quality of our
relationships than anything else. There
is a longing within all of us for strong friendships, but the speed of life,
the frequency of major change, the fragmentation of families, and the drive for
money all have a way of leaving us lonely to the point of having to pay professionals
to truly listen to us (we call this counseling, life coaching or therapy). We would do well to make intentional choices
to counter-act the culture in order to improve our quality of life when it
comes to friendship.
Unfortunately
many people view effective leadership
and deeper friendship as competing
concepts that are incompatible or at odds with each other. I believe nothing could be further from the
truth. In fact, effective leadership and
deep friendships go hand in hand.
What do you think?
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